Alright, so last night there was a really cool lightning storm that, I assume caused my wife and I to wipe in a WoW dungeon...that's neither here nor there.
After our power came back, my precious AT&T modem didn't.....and so ensued the doom.
I checked the socket to make sure it didn't short out. My Alarm System and secondary closet light were plugged into the same power strip and both worked. The light on the power brick was on, indicating the cord was good. No lights on on the modem. I pressed every button under the sun on that bitch and no joy.....so i called support (after my phone's internet FINALLY started to work).
Now. The IVR for ATT sucks. I repeated what the fucking douche bitch recording told me to say like a good little whore, and the first time I called I ended up in retention, which of course was closed, and of course auto-disconnects my call after telling me they are closed.
Second time i go through, the IVR got so pissed at me he was like 'FUCK YOU, you dont get to talk anymore, we're going back to "Press 1 for..." bullshit'. Fucking score. There should be an option on IVRs to turn that functionality on from the start.
Luckily, in the 3 times I've called AT&T in the last 24 hours I've gotten a rep on the phone in under a minute (after navigating the shitty IVR that is). That is their only redeeming factor.
So I finally got to talk to the MOST computer illiterate person I've ever spoken with in my life. He took my info and was like "What can I do to help". I told him my modem didn't work. We had a power surge and none of the little lights are on (they always fucking ask about lights). I'd checked 3 different wall plugs to make sure it was the modem and not the plug.
The rep says ok like he's actually listening to me, and proceeds to tell me to do the same steps I JUST told him I did. Ok, fine they have a certain script to follow for certain situations. I used to do DSL support for Verizon...I get what's happening. So, of course I lie to the dude telling him I'm doing what he asked when, in fact, the modem is still sitting in the closet plugged into the original socket.
After that, this fucker has the gall to say 'Give me a minute I run a line test'. Now I'm a bit angry because this fucker hasn't picked up a dman thing I've said. So, in a stern, but not angry voice I explain to the tech that his line test will go to the premises device, and do nothing to power on my modem. Then this fucker pushes my last fucking button. He tells me he is going to 'Bounce the port on my premises device'. So, for those that don't know me, I'm a network engineer and systems administrator and THIS FUCKER has broken my last straw of patience. I literally asked the dude 'Are you even fucking listening to a word I'm saying? What in your mind tells you that when there's no fucking power to my modem, that a port bounce will some how magically fix a device that doesn't POWER ON! (the F bombs were in the call)'
Of course, I've lost patience with this dude and I tell him I want a supervisor now. And strike EIGHT for fucking AT&T...he comes back, tells me his supervisors name.....and then I sat in Hold Hell for 5 minutes. I heard the click of someone attempting to transfer and instead i just sat and listened to the fucking AT&T Uverse TV ads. I canceled that shitty service for a reason....and they are shoving ads down my throat.
After that for 5 minutes I hung up. Did my best monkey impression for the IVR so i could get through it faster. And now I actually got to talk to someone that had ears. I avoided telling her about my open ticket and said 'I had a power outage and my modem doesn't turn on. I've tried another plug and that doesn't work. The power brick for the modem has a green light, but the modem itself doesn't power on'. She tells me 'well, it looks like you did a good job trouble shooting this yourself, let me schedule a tech to come out and replace that modem for you.' (Finally someone smart)
She tells me she can get someone at my house between 8 and noon (awesome, i work second shift now). She asks me what number to have the tech call to make sure I'm home. I gave her my cell (instead of my wife's, which is the number on the account).
She tells me she's got everything scheduled and the tech will call me on my alternate number. Talking to this chick took all of 6 minutes and she did everything exactly the way I would have wanted it.
Unfortunately, she either missed putting my number on the ticket or their dispatch just sucks, because I woke up at 11:30 to 0 missed calls and no knocks on my fucking door.
So, I go and look up their number again (I finally broke down and used 411 to call them yesterday since my interwebs on my phone wasnt working). I talk to a decent tech again (after yet one more dose of IVR hell). I told her 'Hey i have an open ticket for a tech to come to my house. I just need to check on the status.'.......and then.....this chick has the GALL! to start troubleshooting connections with me. Luckily she stopped once i reminded her that I already had an open ticket, but good lord I almost ate her face after that bullshit. Now there's a truck coming out between noon and 4 (it's 2 now and my wife hasn't logged into gmail yet....which is the first thing she does every day).
So there might be a continuation to this rant, but good lord, I'm almost considering paying more for a worse service and better support. Time Warner never did that bull shit to me. I had two modems fail on me in the past 5 years I've been with TW. Everyone seems to hate them, but I'll be damned if both times the modem died that i called them they heard 'no lights' they asked me the obligatory 'did you plug it in to another socket', i say yes, and look at that, the next morning I have a UPS package from them with a new modem. AND if the UPS guy is nice enough to wait 5 minutes, I give him the old modem back in the same box, and he labels that shit on my account.
[/rant] (maybe)
After our power came back, my precious AT&T modem didn't.....and so ensued the doom.
I checked the socket to make sure it didn't short out. My Alarm System and secondary closet light were plugged into the same power strip and both worked. The light on the power brick was on, indicating the cord was good. No lights on on the modem. I pressed every button under the sun on that bitch and no joy.....so i called support (after my phone's internet FINALLY started to work).
Now. The IVR for ATT sucks. I repeated what the fucking douche bitch recording told me to say like a good little whore, and the first time I called I ended up in retention, which of course was closed, and of course auto-disconnects my call after telling me they are closed.
Second time i go through, the IVR got so pissed at me he was like 'FUCK YOU, you dont get to talk anymore, we're going back to "Press 1 for..." bullshit'. Fucking score. There should be an option on IVRs to turn that functionality on from the start.
Luckily, in the 3 times I've called AT&T in the last 24 hours I've gotten a rep on the phone in under a minute (after navigating the shitty IVR that is). That is their only redeeming factor.
So I finally got to talk to the MOST computer illiterate person I've ever spoken with in my life. He took my info and was like "What can I do to help". I told him my modem didn't work. We had a power surge and none of the little lights are on (they always fucking ask about lights). I'd checked 3 different wall plugs to make sure it was the modem and not the plug.
The rep says ok like he's actually listening to me, and proceeds to tell me to do the same steps I JUST told him I did. Ok, fine they have a certain script to follow for certain situations. I used to do DSL support for Verizon...I get what's happening. So, of course I lie to the dude telling him I'm doing what he asked when, in fact, the modem is still sitting in the closet plugged into the original socket.
After that, this fucker has the gall to say 'Give me a minute I run a line test'. Now I'm a bit angry because this fucker hasn't picked up a dman thing I've said. So, in a stern, but not angry voice I explain to the tech that his line test will go to the premises device, and do nothing to power on my modem. Then this fucker pushes my last fucking button. He tells me he is going to 'Bounce the port on my premises device'. So, for those that don't know me, I'm a network engineer and systems administrator and THIS FUCKER has broken my last straw of patience. I literally asked the dude 'Are you even fucking listening to a word I'm saying? What in your mind tells you that when there's no fucking power to my modem, that a port bounce will some how magically fix a device that doesn't POWER ON! (the F bombs were in the call)'
Of course, I've lost patience with this dude and I tell him I want a supervisor now. And strike EIGHT for fucking AT&T...he comes back, tells me his supervisors name.....and then I sat in Hold Hell for 5 minutes. I heard the click of someone attempting to transfer and instead i just sat and listened to the fucking AT&T Uverse TV ads. I canceled that shitty service for a reason....and they are shoving ads down my throat.
After that for 5 minutes I hung up. Did my best monkey impression for the IVR so i could get through it faster. And now I actually got to talk to someone that had ears. I avoided telling her about my open ticket and said 'I had a power outage and my modem doesn't turn on. I've tried another plug and that doesn't work. The power brick for the modem has a green light, but the modem itself doesn't power on'. She tells me 'well, it looks like you did a good job trouble shooting this yourself, let me schedule a tech to come out and replace that modem for you.' (Finally someone smart)
She tells me she can get someone at my house between 8 and noon (awesome, i work second shift now). She asks me what number to have the tech call to make sure I'm home. I gave her my cell (instead of my wife's, which is the number on the account).
She tells me she's got everything scheduled and the tech will call me on my alternate number. Talking to this chick took all of 6 minutes and she did everything exactly the way I would have wanted it.
Unfortunately, she either missed putting my number on the ticket or their dispatch just sucks, because I woke up at 11:30 to 0 missed calls and no knocks on my fucking door.
So, I go and look up their number again (I finally broke down and used 411 to call them yesterday since my interwebs on my phone wasnt working). I talk to a decent tech again (after yet one more dose of IVR hell). I told her 'Hey i have an open ticket for a tech to come to my house. I just need to check on the status.'.......and then.....this chick has the GALL! to start troubleshooting connections with me. Luckily she stopped once i reminded her that I already had an open ticket, but good lord I almost ate her face after that bullshit. Now there's a truck coming out between noon and 4 (it's 2 now and my wife hasn't logged into gmail yet....which is the first thing she does every day).
So there might be a continuation to this rant, but good lord, I'm almost considering paying more for a worse service and better support. Time Warner never did that bull shit to me. I had two modems fail on me in the past 5 years I've been with TW. Everyone seems to hate them, but I'll be damned if both times the modem died that i called them they heard 'no lights' they asked me the obligatory 'did you plug it in to another socket', i say yes, and look at that, the next morning I have a UPS package from them with a new modem. AND if the UPS guy is nice enough to wait 5 minutes, I give him the old modem back in the same box, and he labels that shit on my account.
[/rant] (maybe)